excited!

as i look toward 2009, i can't help but get excited.

for so long (the whole of 2008) i've had to calm my anxious heart... in an attempt to not get too excited so that i don't become too disappointed.

2008 began with a cautious hope of having our daughter by june - my 31st birthday.
that quickly dissolved into a holding out for september, post-olympic fever.
which all too painfully became a realization that we wouldn't have our baby home for CHRISTmas...
and became more of a very un-fun game of waiting out 2008.

last night as daddy & i lay in bed daydreaming - we like to do that from time to time - daddy brought up the possibility of having you join us this spring. now wouldn't that be just awesome? to have our hope/tree of life sprout at such a joyous time!?!

i've worked so hard at wrapping my heart up in layers of protection (much like bubble wrap, easily popped, minus the fun)... holding out for may or june.

these thoughts have held me captivated.
receiving you in may brings to mind great anticipation as that could be my 1st mommy's day with you in my arms... or celebrating our 10 year anniversary with you - a product of our hearts!
june is good too as i can't think of a better gift for daddy on his 1st daddy's day! june would also be the 2 year mark of waiting, waiting, waiting for you, which also happens to coincide with my birthday. could there be a better BIRTHday gift than that of you being BIRTHed into our family!?!

with such wonderful thoughts, i had a very hard time falling asleep last night!!!

in reality, i'm still very cautiously optimistic towards the possibility of a sooner-rather-than-later time frame to our lil' one...

even so, i am one excited mommy-to-be!